Is Narnia Melting?

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulations, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ." II Corinthians 1: 3-5

It has been nearly eight months since Nick died. My grandchild. Charlie's grandson. My children's son and nephew. My grandchildren's brother and cousin. His young life cut off and ended at the youthful age of sixteen. His driver's license three weeks old in the wallet handed to his parents.

I wrote about Nick's death in the previous blog thinking that I would journal my way through grief. But it didn't work that way. I couldn't write about this horrific family loss because all of a sudden I realized that my heart had frozen and locked up like a computer. There was nothing I could do to get it going again. I couldn't write about anything! Not even simple thank you notes. Whenever I started to write, I would stare out the window. I was numb and mute like the cold icey outdoors. When asked when I was going to blog again, I could only shake my head in silence. Sometimes I would say, "When the Lord gives, I guess." And I wondered, would He ever choose to give again?"

I talked to my friend who is a counselor. She said, "Betsy, you are trying to process your grief. Don't do that. When you are in so much pain, you can't process. Just lean into Jesus and let Him comfort you in His way and in His time."

That was very good counsel. I heard the Lord speaking to me through her words. It's the advice that I'd pass on to anyone who is suffering from deep loss. Lean into Jesus and let Him comfort you in His way and in His time. So that's what I did and that's what I am still doing. I have been amazed at the special comfort that He gives and sends into our deepest pain. I've given it a name - God's Customized Comfort. It's tailor made for us but we have to learn to lean into Him and receive it. Isn't that what the Christian's joyful journey is all about - "learning to lean , learning to lean, learning to lean on Jesus," as the beautiful old hymn tells us?

But lately, just lately, I feel a thawing, a melting deep within the innermost parts of my soul. It's like being in the northwoods and hearing a trickle of water surging up in the deep snow of a long winter. When you hear it, you pause and ask, "Is winter melting? Can it be? Will the newness of spring really come?"

Creative thoughts are beginning to gently rise like little bubbles in a kettle of water that sits on a gas flame and is almost ready to boil. There are things I want to write down and share about God's Customized Comfort. His goodness and tenderness in His care for me doing this time has been so healing. He has used His Word and He has brought people in ways that I could never have imagined before Nick went to be with Him. I would like to comfort others with the comfort that He has given me: "who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble , with the "customized" comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." II Cor. 1:4

Am I through the valley? No, I'm not. There is still a long walk ahead. I know that. In the "old days" women wore black for a year when they were mourning a lost loved one. That seems like a long time to wear black clothes but grief takes a long time. I've learned that. Maybe, after a year, my heart will reach into its closet, throw the black mourning veils in the hamper and clothe itself in colors again. Meanwhile I continue day by day to follow my friend's wise counsel and to lean into the pain finding that God's comfort is real and underneath are His Everlasting arms.

Aslon has been there and He is healing. I am listening, perhaps, maybe..... I hear the trickling stream and Narnia is starting to melt.

Ode to Christmas 2010

Christmas Day, 2010. I am in a plane flying to Dallas to attend the funeral of my sixteen year old grandson. He was killed two days ago when the Mazda 6 that he was driving crossed the median and sideswiped a semi. Nick had his driver's license for three weeks. By the time the helicopter got him to the hospital, he had gone to be with Jesus.

I look down from the plane window and see the neatly blocked streets of Milwaukee far below. They are covered with snow like a Christmas card picture. I think about all the people in the houses celebrating Christmas. I picture them opening packages, laughing at funny gifts, and watching their childrens' delight as they unwrap their special presents.

Some of the houses have cars parked in front of them and in their driveways - evidence of happy gatherings inside. I imagine the smells of platters filled with turkey and ham wafting through the rooms. Every year I cook too - pies, brownie bars, whatever my family likes. It gives me great joy. But not this year. That has been suddenly snatched away.

As I stare down, I wonder how the families in each house celebrate Christmas Eve? We always dim the lights and read the Christmas story. Everytime the word angel appears, the grandchildren take turns lighting candles symbolizing the verse, "The people who sat in darkness have seen a great light." Pretty soon the dark room is aflame with light. But not this year.

Charlie and I didn't open any presents this morning. We were packing hastily - rushing to catch the 12:30 pm flight to Dallas. Our one thought - get to our family whose loss is so great! As we hurried out the door, I glanced back at our darkened kitchen. No good smells, no Christmas dishes, no decorated table waiting for friends. This year our house was a way station on Christmas Eve. We thought we were going to celebrate two weeks with our Alaska family. That's what we thought until Thursday, December 23rd at 5:30 pm when we got the telephone call that said - not this year.

My thoughts go back to that evening - grieving and phoning - grieving and phoning. Family to call, loved ones calling back. "My son, my son, how can we be so far away at such a time?" Hearing the grief and pain in his voice and my Texas daughter-in-love's sobs, intensifies the already indescribable pain in my heart.

Miraculously we are booked on a 6 am flight Christmas Eve day from Anchorage to Minneapolis. Two hours sleep and it is 1:30 am. Time to dress and have our son drive us to the airport. For an hour and a half we talk - we share rambling thoughts. We watch four moose passing us in the cold Alaskan night. I remember that seeing them used to excite me. But not this year. I am too numb to register more emotion.

At 3:45 we arrive at the airport and are told that we can have seats together if we sit in the very last row. We don't care, we don't want to be separated at such a time. We both search our bibles for the comfort of the Scriptures. Lord, give us strength - special verses for Nick-anything that will help us get through this agony. As we read, the peace that passes all understanding begins to descend. We write the verses down. I look up to see the man in the window seat next to Charlie watching us. Charlie and he start talking. He is a ship's captain in charge of huge boats that carry cargo from Alaska to Japan. He tells us that he was at sea when he got a telephone call that his sister had died. He said, "What do you do when you are in the middle of the ocean and you get such a call?" We told him that the telephone also rang for us and that's why we were leaving Alaska the day before Christmas. After we had talked, we gave him the Four Spiritual Laws. He took it and read it from cover to cover then carefully zipped it into his leather seaman's jacket pocket. He wasn't supposed to be in that seat - someone had asked him to trade. We weren't supposed to be in our seats. Or were we all three supposed to be there? Was his possible conversion a good fruit from Nick's physical death? Maybe this year he will come to know Jesus. I wonder at God's grace shining in the midst of our darkness.

We arrive in Minneapolis at 2:30 pm. The van from the Country Suites picks us up. "Why are you traveling so late on Christmas Eve Day?" the driver askes us. We tell him and he shares that his son has cancer. He says, "You told me your trouble, I tell you mine." We knew what he was saying. The glitter of Christmas was all around us, but each of our hearts had great needs that tinsel could never fill. Not this year.

We drive the five hours from Minneapolis to home. Christmas Eve - snow falling, slippery roads, wrecker trucks pulling people out of the ditches, but my mind sees one wrecker truck pulling a black Mazda off of a Texas highway. We stop at McD's for a bite. Who are all these people standing in line for fast food on Christmas Eve? Are they traveling for dreadful reasons too? My mind is frozen like the landscape around us. I cannot smile at them - certainly not ask a personal question.

We get home and unpack our Alaska suitcases and make flight arrangements to Dallas for the next day, Christmas Day. Sleeping in my own bed for one night, my last thought is "No candles being lit tonight. No Nick laughing and striking a match as he hears the word 'angel.' But wait! Isn't he seeing the angels as he spends his first Christmas in heaven? Are they the angels who appeared to the shepherds when the Savior was born in Bethlehem? Is he asking them? Ah, Nick, Nick, what are you doing right now?"

My mind returns to the present. Soon I will see the neighborhoods of Dallas-Fort Worth - not snow covered and cold like in Milwaukee - but each house will be celebrating Christmas. My eyes will search for only one - a home where they opened gifts this morning and tried to continue on. A home with unopened presents under the tree labeled "To Nick." A home that now has three teenagers instead of four. How sad can life get?

The plane flies on to our destination. We are nearly there but I can't see the activity below. We are above the clouds and the sun is shining blindingly bright all around us. "Is this how bright the Shekinah Glory shines in heaven, Nick?" I wonder. "Jesus, the angels, God on His great throne. You are seeing and experiencing it all this year."

For an instant, looking out at the brilliant sun, I am there with him. The wonder of eternal life surrounds me. Then I hear the sound of the wheels going down and our plane descends to land. The clouds swirl around us and all is grey again. The trials and afflictions of this present world encumber us as before. But I have seen the upperside and God has reminded me that my grandson is truly alive. "He is not dead for He has risen!" Nick is above the clouds looking down at God's great canvas of eternity. He has fought the good fight, he has finished the race - this year.

We rent our car and drive toward Crowley. Our family is there.

Other Christmases may come and go with new joys and sorrows but we wont forget this year of our Lord 2010. We do not know what future Christmases will bring but we do know that we shall never be the same - not after this year.

Road Open

Reading Through the Bible in 2010 (Jeremiah 25-27)

"'Then it will come to pass, when seventy years are completed, that I will punish the king of Babylon and that nation, the land of the Chaldeans, for their iniquity,' says the Lord; 'and I will make it a perpetual desolation.'" Jer. 25:12

Charlie was signaling to me. He looked excited as he gestured toward the street. I glanced up, from talking to a friend on my cell phone, and peered ahead. At first I was like, what? Then comprehension dawned. The detour sign was gone! The road was open. We could drive straight on through to the lake. No more detour through Seymour. Thirty minutes off our driving time!

"Look at that," he exclaimed as we sped along the smooth new pavement, "Passing lanes! Good bye poky drivers. This was definitely worth the wait!"

"I'm surprised they got it done before winter." I said.

"Oh," he replied, "I thought they'd have it open for gun deer hunting when half the state heads to the north woods."

We got to the lake so fast. I'd forgotten how much quicker it is without the detour.

Are you ever amazed when God opens a door in your life? It seems like you are on a perpetual detour and then - suddenly - something that has been blocked happens. The "Road Closed" sign is gone and there you go.... down a beautiful new path in life's joyful journey. A road has been under construction in your life and voila! It's open before you.

When Jeremiah wrote down God's words about His impending judgment upon Babylon, it must have seemed to the weeping prophet that he was stuck on a big time detour. God had told him over and over that Judah was about to be heavily disciplined and carried off to Babylon. Israel's Babylonian Captivity loomed omniously ahead.

But God never leaves His people comfortless and He gave Jeremiah chapter 27. Inspirationally penning God's word, he must have received hope as God told him that after seventy years, Babylon, too, would be punished. The Exile would not last forever.

Did he have any idea that seventy years later, a famous prophet named Daniel would be sitting in Babylon reading these very words? Could he know that Daniel would be inspired by what he, Jeremiah, had written and start praying for an end to the captivity and a return to Israel? Probably not. But as a result of Jeremiah's faithfulness to write God's words during a bleak time, a marvelous road of return would open seventy years later for his people.

We encounter lots of roadblocks in our lives. But if we will be faithful to what God tells us to do, the "Road Open" sign will come up. We don't know when but God does. He finishes

what He starts. His timing is perfect. Charlie was sure the Department of Transportation would have the road open before gun deer hunting started in Wisconsin. We can perfectly trust the detours of our lives to One much greater than the DOT.

Are you feeling blocked at every turn? Wait, knowing that the new door will open, because our God is an awesome trustworthy God, and He has promised that it will. Detours can lead to shining new roads with passing lanes!

"Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;" Phil.1:6

A Detour Through Seymour

Reading Through the Bible in 2010 (Jeremiah 4-6)

"Stand in the ways and see, And ask for the old paths, where the good way is, And walk in it; Then you will find rest for your souls. But they said, 'We will not walk in it.'" Jeremiah 6:16

I was impatient! It was a beautiful day and I wanted to get to the lake. Usually our trip takes us two hours and fifteen minutes. That never seems long to me. But all summer every trip to our lake house has taken two hours and forty five minutes. Why? Because of the detour through Seymour!

"Charlie," I lamented, "When will the road be open so we don't have to take this detour? Why would anyone want to drive twenty miles out of their way to go through Seymour, Wisconsin anyway?"

"Hey," he replied, "Didn't you see the sign? This is the home of the hamburger. If somebody in Seymour hadn't invented it - no hamburgers! How would we have had that hilarious scene in 'The Pink Panther' about haaambergers?"

"You're funny," I retorted, "but this seems like a major waste of time to me."

Do you ever notice how many times life seems to take detours? We have wonderful plans for the day - the week - the year - and suddenly something comes up. It might be a knee injury or a loved one with cancer. Maybe it's an unexpected job loss or a relative's sudden need. A phone call and there's a road block - a formidable yellow and black fence saying "Road closed. Take detour." We have to abruptly change our familiar habits and take the new unknown way.

God spoke through the prophet Jeremiah to warn the people of Judah that they were headed in the wrong direction. They were determined to go their way and not God's way. If they had changed their course in response to Jeremiah's pleas, they would have gone back to the "good way" and "found rest for their souls." But instead they said, "We will not walk in it." (Jer. 6:16) Their stiff necked refusal to follow God's road block caused them to take a long detour of their own making - all the way to eventual exile in Babylon.

But something happened in that detour to Babylon. After the Jewish people returned from their days of exile, they were different. They never worshiped idols again. You might say they'd learned their lesson. By the time they came back to the "old paths" they were a changed people.

God's detours in our lives have significant lessons for us. We come through them different people if we approach them with the right attitude. If we agreeably receive them as His way instead of our way, we too, come through changed. All of a sudden we have a better understanding of the lives of others - what they are doing, what they are feeling, what they are experiencing. Detour can become "da tour." Seymour can become "See more." "DA TOUR" to "SEE MORE" about others who live along the country roads of our lives.

Enough said, I'll close. After all, it's lunchtime and what would life be without a good hamburger anyway?

Under the Influence

Reading Through the Bible in 2010 (II Kings 10-12)

"Jehoash (Joash) did what was right in the sight of the Lord all the days in which Jehoida the priest instructed him." II Kings 12:2

It was 1979 and Charlie had accepted a transfer to Corinth, Mississippi to be the operation’s manager for a new mill that was being built there. We knew we were supposed to go because we were reading in Acts 18 and the scripture jumped out at us, “Go to Corinth for I have many people there.” God couldn’t be much clearer than that!

Was it hard to leave Wisconsin and family and friends again to go back “down south?” Yes, it was. But looking back, I can see that in our lives there is better and best. This step of faith turned out to be the very best for Charlie and I and our four children. What God had for us in Corinth far surpassed the difficulties of saying goodbye and moving away from our beloved state. He did, indeed “have many people there.”

That became immediately apparent when we attended a church on Sunday morning and liked the preacher so much that we went back the same Sunday night. After the evening service, we went downstairs for a get together. We had no idea that the people we were about to “get together” with would change all of our lives. I was drinking a cup of punch and casually chit chatting with a woman named Lynn. All of a sudden she said, “Have you met Mary and Elaine?” Before I could even answer she disappeared. Soon I spotted her towing two delightful women who both beamed at me with welcoming smiles.

Lynn was right. Mary and Elaine and I instantly connected. It was more than that, it was a knitting of our hearts as all three of us immediately realized that we were kindred spirits in a very deep love for Jesus. Only a week later, I was attending a Monday morning Bible study in Mary’s home, which “happened” to be just a block away from where I lived. Mary taught and Elaine led the singing and I just studied with them and soaked it all up.

Soon Charlie became friends with Sherman, Mary’s husband. They were our southern “Priscilla and Aquilla.” Sherman and Mary loved our children and were spiritual grandparents to them. When Sherman went to be with the Lord six years ago, Charlie was one of the speakers at his “Homegoing Service.” He was so influenced by this Godly man’s life that he named our collie……… Sherman!

When wicked Athaliah became queen of Judah, she immediately destroyed all the royal heirs except for one. While they were being murdered, the daughter of the dead king, Jehoshabeath, rescued little one year old Joash. She secretly hid him in a bedroom with his nurse for six years. (How do you hide a toddler anyway?) Somehow no one knew he existed except Jehoida the Priest who just happened to be married to Jehoshabeath. When Joash was seven, he was made king of Judah after a daring coup in which the throne was rightfully restored to the Davidic heirs. It amazes me that a helpless one year old boy was the sole link that saved the dynasty of David and the very lineage of Jesus Christ. Jehoida the Priest mentored Joash and under his influence Joash “did what was right in the sight of the Lord.” (II Kings 12:2) We are told that he even restored Solomon’s elegant temple to its original condition.

All was good …until Jehoida died. After the death of the High Priest, the true character of King Joash became clear. Joash listened to the ungodly leaders of Judah and turned away from following the Lord. We read that “they left the house of the Lord God of their fathers, and served wooden images and idols; and wrath came upon Judah and Jerusalem because of their trespass. Yet He sent prophets to them, to bring them back to the Lord; and they testified against them but they would not listen.” ( II Chronicles 24:18,19)

The sad story of King Joash spirals down into incredible depravity. When Zechariah, the son of Jehoida came to warn Joash about his ungodly choices, he killed him. He stoned the son of the man and woman who had saved his life and mentored him. Incredible!

God is so patient and good to us. He sends us many people over the years. We can listen and learn from them or we can reject them. We think we’ll have them forever, but we don’t.

After two years we moved from Corinth to Connecticut. I had a hole in my heart for months and months after leaving Mary. But, we stayed in touch in many miraculous ways over the years. You’ll hear a lot more about Mary in my blog. But, I have to go because we call each other every Monday morning at nine. We talk and pray. Her wisdom and love for Jesus can be counted on to lead me to the highest road on my joyful journey to heaven.

Happy Memorial Day! As we remember the sacrifices of so many veterans for our beloved country, let’s also be thankful for the Godly Jehoidas who have given their lives to mentor us.

Clinging To God

Reading Through the Bible in 2010 (II Kings 4)

“Now when she came to the man of God at the hill, she caught him by the feet,” II Kings 4:27

“Your blog has been quiet lately?” My friend, Andrea, and I were chatting in my office. She looked at me a bit inquiringly.

I thought, “My blog may be quiet, but my head feels like it is about to pop. So many things are going on in my brain, how can I verbalize them?” I wanted to share but sometimes words can’t express multitudes of emotions.

We sold our motor home down in Illinois last week. It was time, but selling it marked the end of some very special and sentimental times in our lives. I wanted to process that through with the Lord and write about it, but it was too big a part of my life’s journey to do quickly. I leave it with Him.

On the way home we stopped in Madison to pray with a dear friend who was sitting in the hospital beside her dying husband trying to hear what the Lord was telling her. A week later he went to be with Jesus on Sunday, the Lord’s Day. She and her three children are left to ponder what the future will look like without him. How do you process something like that? God knows, I don’t. All I can do right now is weep and weep for my sweet friend, Julie, and her dear children.

Saturday I spoke to a group of women at a lovely Mother – Daughter brunch. The topic was “JOY: Zero Between Jesus and You.” I brought my clothes hamper and spoke to them about how comparison hampers joy.

I wanted to convey to each one how beautiful they are in God’s eyes and how they don’t need to compare themselves to others. They listened and nodded but did the message reach their hearts? Only God knows. But He does know and He cares so much for each one. I can leave it with Him or I can try to, at least. Why am I so emotional about reaching ladies I don’t even know with these truths?

Two weeks ago, my niece and nephew’s dog had to be put to sleep. Barb wrote, “He went to ‘Milkbone Heaven.” Keno was like a child to them and they held him as his life left him. Death, I hate it. Paul said, “The last enemy is death.” Truer words were never spoken.

My daughter who went through breast cancer last year is about to leave for Zambia for three weeks with her husband, their two oldest children and twelve college students. They are leaving the two youngest Rachel – 9, and Joseph – 2, with us. I wrote about this in “Smiling At the Future In the North Woods” in January. Talk about emotions.!

I just saw an advertisement in my Travel magazine that said, “Maybe the road to happiness isn’t a road.” The Proverbs 31 woman “smiles at the future.” I know this and I believe this and that’s what I’m trying to do. But my head still feels too full of the throbbing emotions of life to process coherently right now. The road to happiness isn’t a road that is always marked clearly. Sometimes the trail looks like it goes in many directions and which one do we follow?

Today I read about a woman who knew exactly what to do with her emotions – the Shunammite woman of II Kings 4. This dear lady understood spiritual things. She is called a “notable” woman. She and her husband invited Elisha to eat with them when he traveled through Shunem where they lived. Elisha passed by often and she suggested to her husband that they make a small upper room for him. She put a bed and a table and a chair and a lamp in it. Whenever Elisha came by, he “turned in there.”

Elisha was grateful and wanted to do something for her. He talked to his servant, Gehazi, about it. Gehazi said, “Actually she has no son and her husband is old.” And so, Elisha told her that in a year she would have a son.

The son was born and one day he was working in the field and said to his father, “My head, my head.” The father said, “Carry him to his mother.” I think he knew that she would know what to do. The child died on his mother’s lap. Death again….! She did know what to do. She didn’t talk to anyone about her exploding emotion -filled head. She went to the man of God and clung to him. What happened? Read the story in II Kings 4. It is so powerful!

Once again I see the relevance of the Bible to every situation in life. We may not be able to process all the things happening in our lives. The path ahead may not be clear. The road to happiness may look like it splits off in many directions. But we can follow the example of the woman who lived in Shunem by fleeing to God and clinging to Him.

Andrea and I talked about the summer and what activities to enroll her children and our grandchildren in. Lots of things were rolling around in our heads, but at that moment we needed to get the children registered.

After she left, I thought– When the road to happiness gets emotional and confusing, it is nice to have friends who meet you along the way. Friends who are kind enough to stop in and say, “Your blog seems a little quiet.”

Julie will need to be the Shunammite woman who flees to God day after day after day. But maybe I can follow Andrea’s example and be a friend who cares and stops in along the way.

A Miracle In the North Woods

Reading Through the Bible in 2010 (I Kings 5-7)

“And the temple, when it was being built, was built with stone finished at the quarry, so that no hammer or chisel or any iron tool was heard in the temple while it was being built.” I Kings 6:7

Saturday night, Charlie and I witnessed a miracle in the north woods of Wisconsin. We attended the dedication of Praise Chapel Community Church in Crandon. Exactly seven years ago in April, the people of this sweet congregation started building a church. The tiny building that they had called home for many years was bursting at the seams and so, after much prayer, they were led by God to rise up and build. This wasn’t the ordinary church building program. It was decided that the new Praise Chapel would be built by faith– they would do it themselves as the money came in. The money did come, the people did build, and the Lord granted them health and safety as they worked. Saturday night we joined with half the community of Crandon and celebrated the dedication of this wonderful debt free “miracle built by God.”

As I sat in the church, I thought about the “coincidence” that in our reading through the Bible, we are right at the dedication of the temple. I don’t believe in coincidences in our lives, I deem them miracles of God’s amazing timing as He orchestrates our lives moment by moment. Eph.2:10 tells us “we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared before the foundation of the world that we should walk in them.”

In today’s reading, we are told that Solomon’s temple was built without the noise of craftsmen. The huge stones were finished at the quarry. In keeping with the holiness of the structure being crafted, there was no sounding of hammers or chisels or any iron tool in the construction of the lovely building.

This is a good reminder to us not to mistake noise for spiritual progress. We tend to measure the importance of things by the excitement they generate. Yet, we are conformed into the image of Jesus not by noisy human efforts but silently by the power of the Holy Spirit as day by day He perfects His power within every believer.

This happens in our quiet times as we read the Word and meditate on the things that He tells us. Maybe that’s why Christians are told to have “quiet times,” not “noisy” times. We are urged to settle down and listen to the gentle voice of the Holy Spirit as He guides and leads us on the paths of righteousness. He, alone, shows us the course our journey is to take and directs us to the things that need to be done on a daily basis. “In quietness and confidence shall be your strength.” Is. 30:15

And then one day, His workmanship is finished and there is a dedication – it may be the temple in Israel or Praise Chapel in the north woods of Wisconsin.

We are told to “sit quietly before the Lord – to wait patiently before Him” as He amazingly does His work on this earth through the likes of believers like us.

The Backside of the Desert

Reading Through the Bible in 2010 (Exodus 2-4))

"Now Moses kept the flock of Jethro his father-in-law, the priest of Midian. And he led the flock to the back of the desert, and came to Horeb, the mountain of God." Ex.3:1

It's been said that each of God's true servants must learn the meaning of the backside of the desert.

The desert is such a cruel place. Think of the dangers! Shifting sands, unbearable heat, a dearth of water - how did Moses carry enough drinking water each day anyway? He must have learned to watch every step that his feet (in their toeless sandals) took, because of the ever present snakes and scorpions. What was this compared to the polished tiles of the palace of Pharaoh? Yet, "he kept the flock of Jethro his father-in-law the priest of Midian." As he led his dependent sheep, did he sense in any way that he was being prepared for the greatest leadership challenges that any man would ever have to face?

"The backside of the desert." Lots of spiritual analogies here, but let me give one family illustration because "backside training" comes in many forms.

My great great grandmother, her name was Betsy, made a quilt.

The quilt is a beautiful basket of flowers embroidered on top of an off-white background. The design of her creation is lovely but what amazes me the most about her creation is this background. It is composed of thousands of little white stitches that make up a pattern of their own. Yet, the pattern is so subtle that all you notice at first is the awesome flower design. As I look at the quilt, I think about the steadfastness that it took to stick at making all those little stitches - day after day, month after month. Did she spend many hours alone working on the quilt? I'm sure she did. Were there friends who came alongside to help her stitch? Did they have special times together talking and sewing? Probably. But, yet, everyday she had to face that same background. Up into the spare bedroom to spend lots and lots of hours repetitively sewing little white stitches. How many times did she think, "Why was I ever led to start this tedious quilt?"

One day great great Grandma Betsy finished her background. Then, only then, was it time to emboider the striking flower pattern that everyone would see.

One hundred and twenty-five years later, when I found Grandma's quilt, it was tossed aside in a box in my mother's basement. I pulled it out and it became my companion in many places. Mary and I used it for many years in the biblical seminar "Heritage Home." It became a physical example to thousands of women of how our spiritual influences are passed down through many generations. It hung in our living rooms in Atlanta and Arkansas and Alabama. My son, Ted - five generations later - made a beautiful frame for it and the quilt now hangs in our lakehouse. People all over the country have commented on the beauty of the flowers and how well preserved the quilt is. But I have noticed that they always say the same thing, "Look at that amazingly detailed background!"

How quickly the Bible skips over forty years of Moses' life in the backside of the desert. Like his ancestor Jacob, he faced years and years of drought and cold and sleepless nights watching out for a flock that belonged to someone else. But God was going to entrust him with a much more important flock when his backside training was complete. The leadership and care of God's own people would be given to Moses. It would be embroidered on this desert background. Forty years went by - forty years of "being steadfast and immoveable" before he was ready to lead his little flock to Horeb, the mountain of God. Forty years before God would suddenly appear and call him from a burning bush that "did not burn." Forty years before God said, "I am sending YOU!"


Do you sometimes feel like your life is set is an insignificant background? Do you ever think, "How many diapers do I change? How many times do I wipe these counters? How many days do I take the children to school? How many times do I get the oil changed?" Do you feel like God should be embroidering the real pattern in your life and not doing so much background work? Be faithful and trust Him, like Moses, like Grandma Betsy. One day He will say, "Now, therefore, go. You have learned the meaning of the backside of the desert."