Is Narnia Melting?

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulations, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ." II Corinthians 1: 3-5

It has been nearly eight months since Nick died. My grandchild. Charlie's grandson. My children's son and nephew. My grandchildren's brother and cousin. His young life cut off and ended at the youthful age of sixteen. His driver's license three weeks old in the wallet handed to his parents.

I wrote about Nick's death in the previous blog thinking that I would journal my way through grief. But it didn't work that way. I couldn't write about this horrific family loss because all of a sudden I realized that my heart had frozen and locked up like a computer. There was nothing I could do to get it going again. I couldn't write about anything! Not even simple thank you notes. Whenever I started to write, I would stare out the window. I was numb and mute like the cold icey outdoors. When asked when I was going to blog again, I could only shake my head in silence. Sometimes I would say, "When the Lord gives, I guess." And I wondered, would He ever choose to give again?"

I talked to my friend who is a counselor. She said, "Betsy, you are trying to process your grief. Don't do that. When you are in so much pain, you can't process. Just lean into Jesus and let Him comfort you in His way and in His time."

That was very good counsel. I heard the Lord speaking to me through her words. It's the advice that I'd pass on to anyone who is suffering from deep loss. Lean into Jesus and let Him comfort you in His way and in His time. So that's what I did and that's what I am still doing. I have been amazed at the special comfort that He gives and sends into our deepest pain. I've given it a name - God's Customized Comfort. It's tailor made for us but we have to learn to lean into Him and receive it. Isn't that what the Christian's joyful journey is all about - "learning to lean , learning to lean, learning to lean on Jesus," as the beautiful old hymn tells us?

But lately, just lately, I feel a thawing, a melting deep within the innermost parts of my soul. It's like being in the northwoods and hearing a trickle of water surging up in the deep snow of a long winter. When you hear it, you pause and ask, "Is winter melting? Can it be? Will the newness of spring really come?"

Creative thoughts are beginning to gently rise like little bubbles in a kettle of water that sits on a gas flame and is almost ready to boil. There are things I want to write down and share about God's Customized Comfort. His goodness and tenderness in His care for me doing this time has been so healing. He has used His Word and He has brought people in ways that I could never have imagined before Nick went to be with Him. I would like to comfort others with the comfort that He has given me: "who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble , with the "customized" comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." II Cor. 1:4

Am I through the valley? No, I'm not. There is still a long walk ahead. I know that. In the "old days" women wore black for a year when they were mourning a lost loved one. That seems like a long time to wear black clothes but grief takes a long time. I've learned that. Maybe, after a year, my heart will reach into its closet, throw the black mourning veils in the hamper and clothe itself in colors again. Meanwhile I continue day by day to follow my friend's wise counsel and to lean into the pain finding that God's comfort is real and underneath are His Everlasting arms.

Aslon has been there and He is healing. I am listening, perhaps, maybe..... I hear the trickling stream and Narnia is starting to melt.

Ode to Christmas 2010

Christmas Day, 2010. I am in a plane flying to Dallas to attend the funeral of my sixteen year old grandson. He was killed two days ago when the Mazda 6 that he was driving crossed the median and sideswiped a semi. Nick had his driver's license for three weeks. By the time the helicopter got him to the hospital, he had gone to be with Jesus.

I look down from the plane window and see the neatly blocked streets of Milwaukee far below. They are covered with snow like a Christmas card picture. I think about all the people in the houses celebrating Christmas. I picture them opening packages, laughing at funny gifts, and watching their childrens' delight as they unwrap their special presents.

Some of the houses have cars parked in front of them and in their driveways - evidence of happy gatherings inside. I imagine the smells of platters filled with turkey and ham wafting through the rooms. Every year I cook too - pies, brownie bars, whatever my family likes. It gives me great joy. But not this year. That has been suddenly snatched away.

As I stare down, I wonder how the families in each house celebrate Christmas Eve? We always dim the lights and read the Christmas story. Everytime the word angel appears, the grandchildren take turns lighting candles symbolizing the verse, "The people who sat in darkness have seen a great light." Pretty soon the dark room is aflame with light. But not this year.

Charlie and I didn't open any presents this morning. We were packing hastily - rushing to catch the 12:30 pm flight to Dallas. Our one thought - get to our family whose loss is so great! As we hurried out the door, I glanced back at our darkened kitchen. No good smells, no Christmas dishes, no decorated table waiting for friends. This year our house was a way station on Christmas Eve. We thought we were going to celebrate two weeks with our Alaska family. That's what we thought until Thursday, December 23rd at 5:30 pm when we got the telephone call that said - not this year.

My thoughts go back to that evening - grieving and phoning - grieving and phoning. Family to call, loved ones calling back. "My son, my son, how can we be so far away at such a time?" Hearing the grief and pain in his voice and my Texas daughter-in-love's sobs, intensifies the already indescribable pain in my heart.

Miraculously we are booked on a 6 am flight Christmas Eve day from Anchorage to Minneapolis. Two hours sleep and it is 1:30 am. Time to dress and have our son drive us to the airport. For an hour and a half we talk - we share rambling thoughts. We watch four moose passing us in the cold Alaskan night. I remember that seeing them used to excite me. But not this year. I am too numb to register more emotion.

At 3:45 we arrive at the airport and are told that we can have seats together if we sit in the very last row. We don't care, we don't want to be separated at such a time. We both search our bibles for the comfort of the Scriptures. Lord, give us strength - special verses for Nick-anything that will help us get through this agony. As we read, the peace that passes all understanding begins to descend. We write the verses down. I look up to see the man in the window seat next to Charlie watching us. Charlie and he start talking. He is a ship's captain in charge of huge boats that carry cargo from Alaska to Japan. He tells us that he was at sea when he got a telephone call that his sister had died. He said, "What do you do when you are in the middle of the ocean and you get such a call?" We told him that the telephone also rang for us and that's why we were leaving Alaska the day before Christmas. After we had talked, we gave him the Four Spiritual Laws. He took it and read it from cover to cover then carefully zipped it into his leather seaman's jacket pocket. He wasn't supposed to be in that seat - someone had asked him to trade. We weren't supposed to be in our seats. Or were we all three supposed to be there? Was his possible conversion a good fruit from Nick's physical death? Maybe this year he will come to know Jesus. I wonder at God's grace shining in the midst of our darkness.

We arrive in Minneapolis at 2:30 pm. The van from the Country Suites picks us up. "Why are you traveling so late on Christmas Eve Day?" the driver askes us. We tell him and he shares that his son has cancer. He says, "You told me your trouble, I tell you mine." We knew what he was saying. The glitter of Christmas was all around us, but each of our hearts had great needs that tinsel could never fill. Not this year.

We drive the five hours from Minneapolis to home. Christmas Eve - snow falling, slippery roads, wrecker trucks pulling people out of the ditches, but my mind sees one wrecker truck pulling a black Mazda off of a Texas highway. We stop at McD's for a bite. Who are all these people standing in line for fast food on Christmas Eve? Are they traveling for dreadful reasons too? My mind is frozen like the landscape around us. I cannot smile at them - certainly not ask a personal question.

We get home and unpack our Alaska suitcases and make flight arrangements to Dallas for the next day, Christmas Day. Sleeping in my own bed for one night, my last thought is "No candles being lit tonight. No Nick laughing and striking a match as he hears the word 'angel.' But wait! Isn't he seeing the angels as he spends his first Christmas in heaven? Are they the angels who appeared to the shepherds when the Savior was born in Bethlehem? Is he asking them? Ah, Nick, Nick, what are you doing right now?"

My mind returns to the present. Soon I will see the neighborhoods of Dallas-Fort Worth - not snow covered and cold like in Milwaukee - but each house will be celebrating Christmas. My eyes will search for only one - a home where they opened gifts this morning and tried to continue on. A home with unopened presents under the tree labeled "To Nick." A home that now has three teenagers instead of four. How sad can life get?

The plane flies on to our destination. We are nearly there but I can't see the activity below. We are above the clouds and the sun is shining blindingly bright all around us. "Is this how bright the Shekinah Glory shines in heaven, Nick?" I wonder. "Jesus, the angels, God on His great throne. You are seeing and experiencing it all this year."

For an instant, looking out at the brilliant sun, I am there with him. The wonder of eternal life surrounds me. Then I hear the sound of the wheels going down and our plane descends to land. The clouds swirl around us and all is grey again. The trials and afflictions of this present world encumber us as before. But I have seen the upperside and God has reminded me that my grandson is truly alive. "He is not dead for He has risen!" Nick is above the clouds looking down at God's great canvas of eternity. He has fought the good fight, he has finished the race - this year.

We rent our car and drive toward Crowley. Our family is there.

Other Christmases may come and go with new joys and sorrows but we wont forget this year of our Lord 2010. We do not know what future Christmases will bring but we do know that we shall never be the same - not after this year.

Peace, Good Will Toward Men!

My dear friend, Janey, who lives in Birmingham, sent this wonderful writing in her Christmas letter this year. I loved the thought and so, dear blog friends and family, I'm passing it on to you.

Janey wrote: "In Psalm 23:5 David says God's flock is fed in the presence of our enemies. God asks us to pray for our enemies - those who for some reason do not agree with our loyalties to faith and family or country. For this reason, I am including a writing of Mother Teresa that has been a reminder to me this year of what the angels sang at Jesus' birth, "Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace, good will toward men." Luke 2:14. May we all use the love given us to practice this in the coming year to those who do not know the luxury of God's approval because of the personal acceptance of His Son as Savior."

People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.

If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough.

Give your best anyway.

For you see, in the end it is between you and God. It never was between you and them anyway.

Thanks, Janey, for sharing how God wants us to behave "toward men" (toward everyone) as we travel life's joyful journey.

Road Open

Reading Through the Bible in 2010 (Jeremiah 25-27)

"'Then it will come to pass, when seventy years are completed, that I will punish the king of Babylon and that nation, the land of the Chaldeans, for their iniquity,' says the Lord; 'and I will make it a perpetual desolation.'" Jer. 25:12

Charlie was signaling to me. He looked excited as he gestured toward the street. I glanced up, from talking to a friend on my cell phone, and peered ahead. At first I was like, what? Then comprehension dawned. The detour sign was gone! The road was open. We could drive straight on through to the lake. No more detour through Seymour. Thirty minutes off our driving time!

"Look at that," he exclaimed as we sped along the smooth new pavement, "Passing lanes! Good bye poky drivers. This was definitely worth the wait!"

"I'm surprised they got it done before winter." I said.

"Oh," he replied, "I thought they'd have it open for gun deer hunting when half the state heads to the north woods."

We got to the lake so fast. I'd forgotten how much quicker it is without the detour.

Are you ever amazed when God opens a door in your life? It seems like you are on a perpetual detour and then - suddenly - something that has been blocked happens. The "Road Closed" sign is gone and there you go.... down a beautiful new path in life's joyful journey. A road has been under construction in your life and voila! It's open before you.

When Jeremiah wrote down God's words about His impending judgment upon Babylon, it must have seemed to the weeping prophet that he was stuck on a big time detour. God had told him over and over that Judah was about to be heavily disciplined and carried off to Babylon. Israel's Babylonian Captivity loomed omniously ahead.

But God never leaves His people comfortless and He gave Jeremiah chapter 27. Inspirationally penning God's word, he must have received hope as God told him that after seventy years, Babylon, too, would be punished. The Exile would not last forever.

Did he have any idea that seventy years later, a famous prophet named Daniel would be sitting in Babylon reading these very words? Could he know that Daniel would be inspired by what he, Jeremiah, had written and start praying for an end to the captivity and a return to Israel? Probably not. But as a result of Jeremiah's faithfulness to write God's words during a bleak time, a marvelous road of return would open seventy years later for his people.

We encounter lots of roadblocks in our lives. But if we will be faithful to what God tells us to do, the "Road Open" sign will come up. We don't know when but God does. He finishes

what He starts. His timing is perfect. Charlie was sure the Department of Transportation would have the road open before gun deer hunting started in Wisconsin. We can perfectly trust the detours of our lives to One much greater than the DOT.

Are you feeling blocked at every turn? Wait, knowing that the new door will open, because our God is an awesome trustworthy God, and He has promised that it will. Detours can lead to shining new roads with passing lanes!

"Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;" Phil.1:6

A Detour Through Seymour

Reading Through the Bible in 2010 (Jeremiah 4-6)

"Stand in the ways and see, And ask for the old paths, where the good way is, And walk in it; Then you will find rest for your souls. But they said, 'We will not walk in it.'" Jeremiah 6:16

I was impatient! It was a beautiful day and I wanted to get to the lake. Usually our trip takes us two hours and fifteen minutes. That never seems long to me. But all summer every trip to our lake house has taken two hours and forty five minutes. Why? Because of the detour through Seymour!

"Charlie," I lamented, "When will the road be open so we don't have to take this detour? Why would anyone want to drive twenty miles out of their way to go through Seymour, Wisconsin anyway?"

"Hey," he replied, "Didn't you see the sign? This is the home of the hamburger. If somebody in Seymour hadn't invented it - no hamburgers! How would we have had that hilarious scene in 'The Pink Panther' about haaambergers?"

"You're funny," I retorted, "but this seems like a major waste of time to me."

Do you ever notice how many times life seems to take detours? We have wonderful plans for the day - the week - the year - and suddenly something comes up. It might be a knee injury or a loved one with cancer. Maybe it's an unexpected job loss or a relative's sudden need. A phone call and there's a road block - a formidable yellow and black fence saying "Road closed. Take detour." We have to abruptly change our familiar habits and take the new unknown way.

God spoke through the prophet Jeremiah to warn the people of Judah that they were headed in the wrong direction. They were determined to go their way and not God's way. If they had changed their course in response to Jeremiah's pleas, they would have gone back to the "good way" and "found rest for their souls." But instead they said, "We will not walk in it." (Jer. 6:16) Their stiff necked refusal to follow God's road block caused them to take a long detour of their own making - all the way to eventual exile in Babylon.

But something happened in that detour to Babylon. After the Jewish people returned from their days of exile, they were different. They never worshiped idols again. You might say they'd learned their lesson. By the time they came back to the "old paths" they were a changed people.

God's detours in our lives have significant lessons for us. We come through them different people if we approach them with the right attitude. If we agreeably receive them as His way instead of our way, we too, come through changed. All of a sudden we have a better understanding of the lives of others - what they are doing, what they are feeling, what they are experiencing. Detour can become "da tour." Seymour can become "See more." "DA TOUR" to "SEE MORE" about others who live along the country roads of our lives.

Enough said, I'll close. After all, it's lunchtime and what would life be without a good hamburger anyway?

Asphalt Prayers

Reading Through the Bible in 2010 (Isaiah 43-45)

“Thus says the Lord, The Holy One of Israel, and his Maker; Ask Me of things to come concerning My sons; And concerning the work of My hands, you command Me.” Is. 45:ll

Charlie and I were distraught. He had reached the end of his rope with one of his employees. The man refused to come under his authority and repeatedly made it clear that he felt that he should have had Charlie’s job. His wife obviously felt the same way because she mocked and ridiculed me to her friends.

I remember the night that my husband and I took God at His Word. We went outside to pray under His great sky. The full moon was shining down on our asphalt driveway making it glisten in the bright light. We prayed together and fervently entreated the Lord. This was our prayer:

“Oh, Lord, You know how desperate we are about this couple. We have loved them, we have been patient, and we have prayed and tried to do Your will concerning them. But, things are getting so difficult that if You don’t intervene and do something drastic; we aren’t going to be able to do your will in this mill. Either change our hearts, or change their hearts, or remove them!”

Two days later, they accepted a transfer to another job. Later he left the company. Our fervent prayer on the asphalt had been answered. After this couple left, there was a different atmosphere in the mill. Charlie was able to move forward in many areas without this man obstinately blocking him.

Since then, we have uttered many “asphalt prayers” in various situations. We learned through that evening’s ardent prayer that sometimes God is saying to us, "Tell me what you want Me to do.” He continues; “I have made the earth, And created man on it. It was I- My hands that stretched out the heavens, And all their host I have commanded.” Is. 45:12. How incredible is it that this Lord of the entire universe instructs us to call to Him and use His unfathomable power in our lives? He tells us this over and over again in so many verses such as “The effective fervent prayer of a righteous man avails (accomplishes) much ”James 5:16.

I don’t mind it when my children tell me what they want. I like to hear their needs, their goals, and their desires. I like to be a part of answering them. I would be so dismayed if they never uttered them to me and always said, “Whatever you want, Mom!”

And yet, if you’re like me, how often our prayers to God are so insipid. We say, “Well, Lord, Your will be done” over and over again. I wonder if God gets bored with that. “Asphalt prayers” take thought and effort and time. We actually have to think through what we want to talk to God about. They involve passion and urgency and earnest expectation. They’re more than sending up a spiritual text.

Martin Luther prayed a zowie of an “asphalt prayer “ when, kneeling by the bed of his dying colleague, Phillip Melanchon, he forbade death to take its victim.

Abraham, himself, boldly interceded with God in all humility about Sodom and Gomorrah. He asked, “Shall not the judge of all the earth do right?” Read about Abraham’s intervention for the righteous in Genesis 18:16-32. It’s a fascinating interaction between the man of God and his Creator.

Are we effectively using the power that God offers us so freely as His children? Matthew Henry says: "We may not strive with our Maker by passionate complaints, but we may wrestle with him by faithful and fervent prayer." Jacob did just that when he said, "I will not let You go unless You bless me." (Gen. 32:26)

Our "asphalt prayers" remind us that when we are incapable of helping ourselves, we can depend on the power of our great and wonderful heavenly Father to do amazing things.

A Lesson From A Jar of Pickles

Reading Through the Bible in 2010 (Eccles. 3-6)

"To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven:

A time to break down, And a time to build up; Eccles. 3:1, 3:3

"You Dummy. What a klutz you are." These words came flying out of my mouth as I surveyed the damage. The kitchen floor glistened with sugary syrup. Pickles, looking like little frogs scattered from their messy perches atop the broken glass, seemed to leer mockingly at me. They were everywhere! Pickles, glass, sticky....aghh!!

"What a mess to clean up. That was so stupid!" Who was I berating? My child, my grandchild, my husband? Nope! I would never talk to them like that. The disparaging words of condemnation were directed at myself. I was the one who reached into the frig and -ker bang - dropped the whole pickle jar. As it crashed to the floor and shattered into a bazillion pieces, I wailed those words about - myself, "You dummy, Betsy. What a klutz you are!"

Later, as I stood with my mop and surveyed the clean kitchen floor, I thought, "Well it really looks quite nice now. It actually needed a good mopping anyway." Then I reached into the pantry and brought out a fresh jar of pickles and reflected, "That other jar was pretty old anyway. It was probably time to replace it."

As I looked at the shining laminate, my friend the Holy Spirit came alongside and surveyed the kitchen with me. He smiled pleasantly and said, "It looks nice, doesn't it?" Then He asked me a question. "Betsy, why were you so hard on yourself? What would you have said to your friend if she had let the pickles slip through her fingers? Would you have called her a dummy and a klutz?"

"Uh,"I paused and reflected on His question. A light was going on in my brain called the illumination of the Holy Spirit. "Why," I answered, "I would have said, "Don't worry, everybody drops things. I'll help you clean it up. And then......well, we probably would have had a good laugh as we gingerly picked up pieces of glass."

He had made His point. There was no need for me to engage in destructive deprecatory self talk. I began to think, "Why am I so careless about the way that I talk to myself?"

My Wise Counselor went on. "Here is a scripture for you to think about. "There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit." (Rom. 8:1) No condemnation, I reflected. Then why do I condemn myself? Why am I harder on myself than I am on other people?

I thought about it and thought about it. Then a long buried memory came to my mind. I remembered my mother stirring lemon pie filling on the stove. Suddenly it started to burn and the pleasant smell turned acrid. As I watched and listened, she began berating herself and berating herself over and over. How had she learned the art of destructive deprecatory self talk so well.? From her father? I'd never heard him say much positive to her. But then, he had run away from home at age 15. Why did he feel the need to do that? What was said to him that his home was not a place of refuge but a non safe place that he fled at an early age? Like an old tattered recipe, this kind of self deprecation had been passed down in our family from generation to generation.

When we come into a relationship with Jesus Christ, we enter into a new way of looking at life. "He has born our griefs and carried our sorrows. We esteemed Him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed." (Isaiah 53: 4-5) God sent His Son to make atonement - to do a switch out for our sins. Jesus took away the condemnation that we were all under because of sin. He replaced it with love and no condemnation. But, as Christians, we have to learn to believe how worthwhile we are in His sight.

Old habits and weavings in families are often passed down from generation to generation. It is important to allow the Comforter, the Divine Paraclete, to come along side and "lead us into all truth." (John 14:26. He will help us sort through our behavior recipes carefully like we gently play a game of Pick Up Sticks. For me, a jar of broken pickles revealed a behavior pattern that needed to be removed and replaced with the biblical truth, "There is therefore no condemnation!"

How do you talk to yourself? What kinds of conversations do you have in your mind? Do you engage in destructive deprecating self talk over life's incidents or do you listen to the kind tender voice of the Holy Spirit as He reminds you that Jesus loves you and gave Himself for you?

I am not a dummy. I am not a klutz! I am a lady with a very clean kitchen floor.

"Sorry, Betsy" I said. "You are not a dummy. You are not a klutz. I'll try not to speak to you like that again." I accepted my apology and forgave myself with constructive self talk - this time.

"There is a time for every purpose under heaven..A time to break down, and a time to build up!"

You pray for me and I'll pray for you that we can break down the patterns of destructive deprecating self talk. Through the enabling power of the Holy Spirit, let's build up the truths of how much our Savior loves us. Maybe we will learn to consistently speak to ourselves with constructive self talk - just like we try to do to our families and friends.

All My Life?

Reading Through the Bible in 2010 (Prov. 20-22)

"Train up a child in the way he should go,

And when he is old he will not depart from it." Prov. 22:6

"I wonder what we'll do with him for the next eighteen years?"

Charlie uttered these words as he looked down at our firstborn son wrapped tightly in his little blue blanket. We had just come home from the hospital and my husband and my mother and I were all gazing devotedly at our tiny new baby sleeping quietly in the bed.

Mom looked at Charlie incredulously and said, "Well, it will be a lot longer than eighteen years. It will be all of your life!"

Neither he nor I had been raised around babies. We didn't have a clue. We both stared at her blankly and wondered what we should do next. We didn't have to ponder long. Twenty four hours later, our morning delight had changed to late evening weariness. Ethan's brand new little outfits were in the wash, I was sore all over, and his diaper needed changing - again. There were three of us attending this little son and we were exhausted. One seven pound baby had turned our lives upside down. " All of our lives" seemed like a very long time.

Six weeks later, we novices were experts on this little fellow......

We knew his eating schedule and we recognized his different cries - "I am hungry, I'm uncomfortable, I need attention!" We could rock him just the way he liked to help him fall asleep. Our newly learned parenting prowess was exciting and satisfying. It's amazing to me that God gives young parents this ability to go from being clueless about babies to becoming uniquely knowledgeable about their own little child's physical needs very quickly.

Meeting our little one's physical needs was tiring but not that difficult. The true challenge was investing in his emotional and spiritual needs "training him up in the way that he should go." The word "train' doesn't mean a choo-choo. We learned that in the Bible the word, "train," has three ideas: dedication, instruction, and motivation.

First of all, we are to dedicate our child to God, recognizing that he is a gift that God has entrusted to us. Our dedication is an action that reflects our understanding that he belongs exclusively to God and we are to raise him as good stewards of this gift.

Secondly, we parents are to instruct our children in the ways of the Lord. We are to teach them how to please God. They are to study and learn and memorize His Word. It is our responsibility to place them under the influence of Godly people who will lovingly instruct them in His ways.

Thirdly, in Jewish writings, this word "train" means motivate. The meaning of this word in Arabic is likened to the action of a midwife who stimulates the palate of a newborn infant with dates or crushed grapes so that it will start sucking. Parents are to stimulate a taste within their child so that he is motivated in his heart to follow God, not by compelling him externally but by creating an inner desire for the Lord.

"Train up a child in the way he should go." Who are we to train up? A child. The word means "dependent" and as long as a child is dependent on his parents, he is to be the recipient of dedication, instruction, and motivation. There are many stages in a child's life and we are to do this throughout each stage.

If we do this, "when he is old, he will not depart from it" the proverb assures us. Old has the connotation of "when he is not dependent." As parents, we are to do the best that we can to dedicate, instruct and motivate our children while they are dependents. Then we are to rest in the last words of this beautiful exhortation trusting that God will bring it to pass in His way and in His time.

This son is a pastor in Alaska now. He and his family were here for the reunion. As he led our Sunday morning family service, it brought us great joy to sit under his wise teaching of God's Word. I looked at Charlie who was listening intently. and remembered, "What do you do with him for the next eighteen years?" We had learned, parenting lasts a lot longer - not eighteen years but for a lifetime. Christian parenting always involves dedicating, instructing and motivating and most of all trusting that "when they are old, they will not depart from it."

Clinging To God

Reading Through the Bible in 2010 (II Kings 4)

“Now when she came to the man of God at the hill, she caught him by the feet,” II Kings 4:27

“Your blog has been quiet lately?” My friend, Andrea, and I were chatting in my office. She looked at me a bit inquiringly.

I thought, “My blog may be quiet, but my head feels like it is about to pop. So many things are going on in my brain, how can I verbalize them?” I wanted to share but sometimes words can’t express multitudes of emotions.

We sold our motor home down in Illinois last week. It was time, but selling it marked the end of some very special and sentimental times in our lives. I wanted to process that through with the Lord and write about it, but it was too big a part of my life’s journey to do quickly. I leave it with Him.

On the way home we stopped in Madison to pray with a dear friend who was sitting in the hospital beside her dying husband trying to hear what the Lord was telling her. A week later he went to be with Jesus on Sunday, the Lord’s Day. She and her three children are left to ponder what the future will look like without him. How do you process something like that? God knows, I don’t. All I can do right now is weep and weep for my sweet friend, Julie, and her dear children.

Saturday I spoke to a group of women at a lovely Mother – Daughter brunch. The topic was “JOY: Zero Between Jesus and You.” I brought my clothes hamper and spoke to them about how comparison hampers joy.

I wanted to convey to each one how beautiful they are in God’s eyes and how they don’t need to compare themselves to others. They listened and nodded but did the message reach their hearts? Only God knows. But He does know and He cares so much for each one. I can leave it with Him or I can try to, at least. Why am I so emotional about reaching ladies I don’t even know with these truths?

Two weeks ago, my niece and nephew’s dog had to be put to sleep. Barb wrote, “He went to ‘Milkbone Heaven.” Keno was like a child to them and they held him as his life left him. Death, I hate it. Paul said, “The last enemy is death.” Truer words were never spoken.

My daughter who went through breast cancer last year is about to leave for Zambia for three weeks with her husband, their two oldest children and twelve college students. They are leaving the two youngest Rachel – 9, and Joseph – 2, with us. I wrote about this in “Smiling At the Future In the North Woods” in January. Talk about emotions.!

I just saw an advertisement in my Travel magazine that said, “Maybe the road to happiness isn’t a road.” The Proverbs 31 woman “smiles at the future.” I know this and I believe this and that’s what I’m trying to do. But my head still feels too full of the throbbing emotions of life to process coherently right now. The road to happiness isn’t a road that is always marked clearly. Sometimes the trail looks like it goes in many directions and which one do we follow?

Today I read about a woman who knew exactly what to do with her emotions – the Shunammite woman of II Kings 4. This dear lady understood spiritual things. She is called a “notable” woman. She and her husband invited Elisha to eat with them when he traveled through Shunem where they lived. Elisha passed by often and she suggested to her husband that they make a small upper room for him. She put a bed and a table and a chair and a lamp in it. Whenever Elisha came by, he “turned in there.”

Elisha was grateful and wanted to do something for her. He talked to his servant, Gehazi, about it. Gehazi said, “Actually she has no son and her husband is old.” And so, Elisha told her that in a year she would have a son.

The son was born and one day he was working in the field and said to his father, “My head, my head.” The father said, “Carry him to his mother.” I think he knew that she would know what to do. The child died on his mother’s lap. Death again….! She did know what to do. She didn’t talk to anyone about her exploding emotion -filled head. She went to the man of God and clung to him. What happened? Read the story in II Kings 4. It is so powerful!

Once again I see the relevance of the Bible to every situation in life. We may not be able to process all the things happening in our lives. The path ahead may not be clear. The road to happiness may look like it splits off in many directions. But we can follow the example of the woman who lived in Shunem by fleeing to God and clinging to Him.

Andrea and I talked about the summer and what activities to enroll her children and our grandchildren in. Lots of things were rolling around in our heads, but at that moment we needed to get the children registered.

After she left, I thought– When the road to happiness gets emotional and confusing, it is nice to have friends who meet you along the way. Friends who are kind enough to stop in and say, “Your blog seems a little quiet.”

Julie will need to be the Shunammite woman who flees to God day after day after day. But maybe I can follow Andrea’s example and be a friend who cares and stops in along the way.

Those Moldy Bread People Again

Reading Through the Bible in 2010 (II Sam. 21-22)

“Now there was a famine in the days of David for three years, year after year, and David inquired of the Lord. And the Lord answered, “It is because of Saul and his bloodthirsty house, because he killed the Gibeonites.” II Sam. 21:1

My daughter-in-love Denise has a great system for remembering things. When she thinks of things she needs to do, she immediately writes a sticky note and adheres it to her kitchen counter. Then when she goes out the door, she just checks her sticky notes to see if she has everything.

Our family joke is – if it gets on one of Denise’s sticky notes, it will happen!

We all have little ways that we use to help us retain information. Today’s reading reminds us again that we have an omniscient God who remembers everything. He never forgets. He invented sticky notes for us, but He doesn’t need them.

King David had a problem. There had been a famine in Israel for three years. So, he inquired of God and asked Him why this was happening. God said it was because of the Gibeonites and what King Saul had done to them.

Remember the Gibeonites? They were those “moldy bread people.” When Joshua was taking the land of Israel, they dressed up in old clothes and brought moldy bread to Joshua. They claimed to be from another country and deceived Israel into making a covenant of protection with them. Later, Joshua discovered that they actually lived nearby but now he couldn’t destroy their city because he had made this covenant.

Four hundred years have gone by. However, during those years, Saul had broken the covenant with the Gibeonites and killed some of them. Wouldn’t you think God would have forgotten about it all by then? I mean the USA isn’t even four hundred years old…that’s a long time. But not to our God.

He is the God who remembers! He told David that he needed to honor the covenant by asking the Gibeonites how to atone for this infraction. David inquired and they replied that they would be satisfied if David gave them seven descendants of Saul and they would take their lives. David complied and delivered seven of Saul’s sons into their hands to be hanged.

What a sad story. Can anything good come out of the deception of the Gibeonites and the disobedience of Saul that resulted in the deaths of seven of his sons? I see one great thing. God takes covenants and oaths very seriously. If He honored the deceitful Gibeonites because of their covenant, how much more will he honor His covenant with us? How much more will he stand by His promises that are lavishly scattered through out the Bible, His Word? If he didn’t forget the Gibeonite covenant for four hundred years, how much more will He not forget our descendants and us? When we entered into a relationship with Jesus Christ, we entered into a covenant with God himself. Hebrews 6:17-18 tells us: “Thus God, determining to show more abundantly to the heirs of promise the immutability of His counsel, confirmed it by an oath, that by two immutable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we might have strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold of the hope set before us.”

He won’t forget us. We have His strong consolation that He doesn’t need sticky notes. He remembered his covenant with the descendants of the heathen moldy bread people. How much more will He be faithful to us - His own covenant children?

The next time you find mold on your bread, remember the Gibeonites. God didn’t forget them, He won’t forget you! Maybe we all need a sticky note on our counter that says "God remembers!"

Call! Don't Fall!

Reading Through the Bible in 2010 (Judges 1-2)

“Now Joshua the son of Nun, the servant of the Lord, died when he was one hundred and ten years old. And they buried him within the border of his inheritance at Timnath Heres, in the mountains of Ephraim, on the north side of Mount Gaash. When all that generation had been gathered to their fathers, another generation arose after them who did not know the Lord nor the work which He had done for Israel. Then the children of Israel did evil in the sight of the Lord, and served the Baals;” Judges 2:8-11

The ominous sign at the foot of my bed had two exclamation points! “Call! Don’t Fall!” Two choices it screamed! “Call and ask for assistance or do yourself some serious damage by being independent!”

After my knee replacement, I spent eighteen days at Peabody Manor. I opted to do this because my doctor explained that physical therapy twice a day would produce better results in the long run. “Besides,” he said, “They know what they’re doing.”

I obviously didn’t since I’d never had anything replaced before. Charlie said that since he hadn’t either, it could be tough on our marriage if I stayed home and let him supervise the rehab exercises. So I was okay about being there for a while. After all, it was a safe place with competent people and our marriage was being preserved.

But this sign at the end of my bed: “Call! Don’t Fall!”

“I am an independent American and I can get up and take care of myself, thank you. Do I really need to call a nurse and wait for her to appear to do the basics of life?”

However, it wasn’t many hours before my knee pain and lack of balance made me wonder if the doctor had also performed a brain replacement. I couldn’t remember how to walk. It was like I was starting from scratch. I did most certainly need those helpful people in my unsteady state. Calling and not falling seemed like a very good choice. I began to be thankful that the sign was there with its two contrasts.

Speaking of contrasts, the book of Joshua and the book of Judges are like comparing a day filled with sunshine and a day covered over with clouds. Joshua is bright with stories of Israel’s obedience and success. Judges is twenty-one dark chapters of the young nation’s disobedience and failures.

Joshua had led Israel to conquer the Promised Land in general, but each tribe was to remove the Canaanite strongholds that remained in their individual inheritances. They didn’t do it. After Joshua died, the Israelites experienced some short-lived military successes under Judah and Simeon. But, as soon as they ran into the inhabitants of the lowland with their chariots of iron, their faith faltered. Instead of calling on God, they retreated in fear. Instead of removing the moral cancer spread by the inhabitants of Canaan, they let them remain.

Compromise always leads to conflict and chaos. The Israelites didn’t remove the cancer and they contracted the disease. Soon they were worshiping Baal and other Canaanite gods. By now, they should have learned the lesson: "Call! Don't Fall!” Call out to God because He is with you. He is there to deliver you Israel. Just obey!

Chapter two of Judges is a synopsis of the whole book of Judges. It is like reading the back cover of a novel. It tells us exactly what happens in the Book of Failures. When the Israelites don’t call, they fall. When they do call on God, He raises up a deliverer – a spiritual and political deliverer. These individual judges portray the role of Jesus as the Savior-King of His people.

Today we have Jesus living in us as our Savior and King. He is there for us. Why don’t we call on Him when we run up against the chariots of iron in our lives? So often, just like the Israelites, we compromise and coexist with strongholds that need to be dealt with. Then, we’re shocked at the amount of pull they exert on our lives.

My friend, Ann, came to visit me at Peabody Manor. She looked at the sign and said, “That’s a great spiritual message! Call! Don’t Fall!” She got it right away. No brain replacement needed there.

We can call and ask for assistance from our very competent Father in heaven or we can do ourselves some serious damage by being independent. These are two contrasting choices that we make so many times in every day. Just like at Peabody Manor.

Moldy Bread

Reading Through the Bible in 2010 (Joshua 9-11)

“This bread of ours we took hot for our provision from our houses on the day we departed to come to you. But now look, it is dry and moldy.” Josh. 9:12

“Then the men of Israel took some of their provisions, but they did not ask counsel of the Lord.” Josh. 9:14

“Everything looks great here!” I said to Charlie.

We had just finished unloading after arriving at our lake house. The sun was shining in the windows, the snow was melting in the woods, and the thermometer was looking happy - registering a warm 61 degrees.

Charlie paused by the calendar and reflected, “The last time we were here was February sixth. That’s over five weeks ago.”

Several hours later, after a light supper of toast and cocoa, I opened the drawer to put the bread away. “Aghhhhhh!” I didn’t mean to shriek but my agitated outburst caused Charlie to come rapidly into the kitchen. He saw me holding up an English muffin package full of the moldiest grossest-looking bread either of us had ever seen.

Returning from carrying it out to the garbage, he shook his head and said, “We sure missed that one when we were packing up!”

In today’s reading about the Gibeonites, Joshua and the Israelites sure missed something too.

We read that when the people of Gibeon heard how Israel had totally destroyed Jericho and Ai, they craftily decided to take another approach to save their skins. Their deceptive plan involved asking Israel to make a covenant of protection with them. They dressed up in old clothes and well- worn sandals and pretended that they came from a far country. To emphasize the length of their travels, they even brought moldy bread and showed it to the skeptical Israelites saying, “This bread of ours we took hot for our provision from our houses on the day we departed to come to you. But, now look, it is dry and moldy.”

We are told that the Israelites looked at their provisions; “but they did not ask counsel of the Lord.” Three days later, after a protective covenant had been made, guess what? The children of Israel found out that these so-called travelers were not from a far country but were really their neighbors. Now, instead of attacking their cities, they had to protect this tricky group of deceivers. They were stuck with the Gibeonites literally forever.

If they only would have asked counsel of the Lord! Even the great Joshua, successor to Moses himself, did not seek out God on this decision. It caused them a lot of trouble immediately and later on down the road.

I don’t know about you, but I get myself in a lot of bad situations when I don’t pray before making a decision. It seems to be taking me a long time to learn that God will give me direction if I will just ask. His promise, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.” is as true today as when the Bible was written. (Luke 11:9&10) Why do I persist in plunging into things without seeking the counsel of the Lord?

When we arrived at the lake, everything appeared to be in great shape. But, we had missed something. In our own wisdom we often miss important things. Chris, my daughter-in-love, always says, "God's will unfolds." She's right, it does, if we'll just take the time to ask Him what His will is before we pack up and hurry off.

Isn’t it amazing how relevant to our lives the Bible stays? As I was reading about the Gibeonites, I could vividly picture their moldy bread. The English muffins were a graphic reminder that when I make decisions without praying, things get stale very quickly!

The Enticement of Wild Daffodils

Reading Through the Bible in 2010 (Joshua 1-3)

“This book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.” Joshua 1:8

“Dad. Can I just go across the road this once? I want to pick those yellow flowers.”

“No way!” was my father’s firm response. “ Four year old girls are not allowed to cross highways by themselves.”

Observing the crestfallen look on my face, he paused. “I tell you what, when I get home, I’ll walk over there with you, okay?”

I said, “All right,” but I didn’t mean it. His car had barely backed out of the driveway when my friend, Terry appeared. He was five and I regarded him as much older. He could go with me!

Later, when my father walked into the kitchen, his eyes fell on a scraggly bouquet of wild daffodils leaning precariously out of a glass. Quick strides took him to the front sidewalk where Terry and I were drawing sea lions on the concrete.

“Betsy,” he said, his voice very quiet, “I thought I told you that you did not have permission to go across that road by yourself.”

“I didn’t go anywhere by myself, Dad,” I replied innocently. (After all, Terry had been with me all morning)

My father knew how to deal with that. “Well,” he said, “I’ll bet you didn’t even look both ways when you crossed that busy street.”

“Oh, yes, I did, Daddy,” I answered fervently! Whoops!

The next thing I knew, my father had taken off his shoe, put me over his knee, and spanked me soundly. The spanking didn’t feel so good, but the worst part of it was being humiliated in front of my friends.

Terry had the audacity to say, “Mr. Billings, I just want you to know that I didn’t pick any of those flowers.” Then, my angelic friend left hastily. The rest of the neighborhood kids just stood there and watched.

I burst into tears over the indignity of it all. My dad put his arm around me and said, “You know you are getting double punishment because you not only disobeyed, but you also lied to me. You are not to play with Terry for a whole week!"

Sniffling into his jacket, I said, “I’m sorry, Dad.” I really was.

I didn’t know it but my father had taught me a lifelong lesson in truth and obedience that day. It’s a lesson I still remember.

Our Scripture today talks about being obedient to God’s word as it is written in His book. It is one of the most memorized verses in the Bible.

The year is 1405 B.C. The Israelites have finally grown up and are about to enter the Promised Land. After the death of Moses, God chose Joshua as their new leader. Joshua means “salvation” in Hebrew and “Jesus” in Greek. In fact there are a lot of parallels between Joshua and Jesus. Some call him a type of Christ. He was a very good leader.

One reason that he was such a great man is he had been discipled almost all of his life by the best of men, Moses. He had watched him, listened to him, and modeled his life after him. When God tapped him for leadership, he was ready.

Each generation must be taught the same lessons in truth and obedience. How are we raising our children? Are we taking the time to talk to them, to correct them, and to teach them how to be obedient men and women? What about our co-workers? Moses and Joshua weren’t related, but Moses took the time to train him perfectly. Who is in your life that could become a Joshua? Who are you nurturing?

Many years have passed and over the years I have crossed a lot of streets by myself. Now the snow is melting and spring is coming. Even Wisconsin has bits of green poking up in the cold soil. The tulips and the daffodils will eventually appear. But as I look at them, it is wild daffodils and my father’s training that I will be remembering.

The Parade of Nations

Reading Through the Bible in 2010 (Numbers 8-9}

“At the command of the Lord the children of Israel would journey, and at the command of the Lord they would camp; as long as the cloud stayed above the tabernacle they remained encamped.” Numbers 9:18

Have you been watching the Olympics? What an opening day! Friday was truly a study in human emotions! The death of the young Luge competitor from Georgia was numbing to us all. It cast a sad oppressive pallor over the opening night ceremony in Vancouver. During the moment of silence dedicated to his memory most of us were probably thinking the same thing. Did 21 year old Nodar have a thought before he started down his harrowing run that the Canadian air he was breathing would be the last air he would ever breathe? Hurtling down the speedy slope of the newly built luge track, did he think about that? Perhaps he might have.

On Sunday his father spoke to a small group of journalists over strong sweet coffee in the kitchen of his home. His mother sat crying at a table covered in snapshots of her son. We can all relate to such an emotional scene.

His father said, “He called me before the Olympics..and he said, ‘Dad, I’m scared of one of the turns.’”

Recalling the phone conversation the day before the tragedy, Mr. Kumaritashvili said he had offered some advice to his apprehensive son.

“I said put your legs down on the ice to slow down, but he said if he started the course he would finish it…He was brave,” the father said.

Nodar Kumaritashvili didn’t get to the Parade of Nations. He had planned to but it didn’t happen.

As I watched the faces of the multitudes of athletes who did get to march around the huge arena, I was struck by the joy on their faces – the incredible happiness at accomplishing their goal. They had made it to the Parade of Nations. They were a part of the Olympics. Some were taking pictures, others were waving their hands in the air - their countenances radiating their joy! Men and women, participating from countries all over the world, marching as a part of the whole. But, like Nodar -they still had no idea of where they were going. Was it toward a medal – maybe even a gold? Or, after all of their training, would they qualify to be in the finals? Would they be eliminated? Would they sustain an injury and be sidelined? They had made it this far, yet they didn’t have a clue about what their future competition held. But this night, February 12, 2010, they were marching in the Parade of Nations and they were beyond euphoric.

The Israelites have made it to a milestone in their journey. A year has gone by since they left Egypt and celebrated the first Passover. The people had remained at the foot of Mt. Sinai as the book of Leviticus had been given and the tabernacle was completed. The record of Numbers begins with the nation still at Mt. Sinai in the second month of the second year. Imagine their joy as they gathered together and celebrated their second Passover.

After the dedication of the tabernacle something incredible happened. A cloud settled over the tabernacle – a cloud that would turn into a pillar of fire every night. Numbers 9:15-23 gives us the most extensive description in the Bible of the movement of the cloud that symbolized God’s Presence with the children of Israel. Think of the excitement of the Israelites as the cloud descended from heaven and covered the tabernacle. It was a visual sign from God that He was in the midst of them and that He would lead them on their journey to the Promised Land. It must have been a breathtaking sight – even better than the opening of the Olympic Games and the Olympic torch.

The Israelites had left Egypt escaping a lifestyle as brick making slaves. They had received a year of training with Moses at the foot of Mt. Sinai. Now the cloud rested on the tabernacle and the presence of God was about to lead them on a newlife long journey. When the cloud lifted, they were to pack up and move,when it settled, they were to stay put. Like the athletes in the Parade of Nations, they had made it to a huge milestone in their lives but much lay ahead of them. Would they pass the tests that lay ahead or would they be sidelined in God’s plan for their lives?

We’re not Olympic athletes and we’re not Israelites but we still have much in common with these people we watch on TV screens and read about in our Bibles. We are all a part of the human race. Physically we get sick and we get injured. Sometimes we receive our physical health back and sometimes we don’t. Emotionally, we experience love, happiness, fear, and anger. It doesn’t matter what color our skin is as we march in the great Parade of Nations because under that skin is a human being, made in the image of God, experiencing common emotions that God put in us. Spiritually there is a place in all of us that is created for God to fill and our souls are not satisfied until He enters our hearts and reigns in His place.

Like the athletes, like the Israelites, we don’t know what our future life - journey holds or how long it will last. But we all can trust the God who created us, loves us and wants to lead us into the unknown – the God who has said, “My presence will go with you and I will give you rest.”

The Banker and the Golden Calf

.“So it was, as soon as he came near the camp, that he saw the calf and the dancing. So Moses’ anger became hot, and he cast the tablets out of his hands and broke them at the foot of the mountain.” Ex. 32:20

Reading Through the Bible in 2010 (Ex. 32-34)

Yesterday I got bent out of shape. It was over a financial matter and it made me very irritable. The combination of numbers and finances can do that to me. Over the course of the day I sent off two e-mails to the person I was dealing with at the bank expressing my frustration. I was okay with sending them. After all, I have a right to be upset don’t I? I was okay until….

I read my daily devotion from Jerry Bridges. Quoting from it: “What does it mean to love your neighbor as yourself?” (Matt. 22:39) Among other things, this would mean that you never show selfishness, irritability, peevishness, or indifference in your dealings with others. You take a genuine interest in their welfare and seek to promote their interests, honor, and well-being. You never regard them with prideful superiority or talk about their failings. You never resent any wrongs they do to you, but instead are always ready to forgive. You always treat them as you would have them treat you.”

I thought about my e-mails. Were they something I could be pleased about? Didn’t they actually express peevishness and irritability and indifference in my dealings with my banker?

“Well, that’s fine for Jerry Bridges to write in his devotional,” I thought. “But I’m still frustrated!”

When I went to write in my blog, nothing came. It was like God was saying to me, “Before we get on with life, there’s something that needs to be dealt with here.”

I prayed, “Well, Lord. I confess that I displayed sinful behavior and I’m very sorry. But, do you remember that You said, “If we confess our sins, You are faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness?”

“Yes, I remember that,” the Holy Spirit seemed to be saying, “But there is more. There are consequences to your behavior.”

This morning I got up and reread the devotional. I noticed something that I had never noticed before. Written across the top of the heading were the words, “Transformational Thoughts for Your Spiritual Journey.” The God of details strikes again. Aren’t I writing about my joyful spiritual journey?

So, I picked up the phone and called the bank. I apologized for the tone of my e-mails. My banker said, “Don’t worry, I’ve seen worse,” and laughed heartily. We actually had a good productive talk. Whew, saved again by direction from the Lord!

But, I must confess to you, that my aspiration is not to be a little better than “worse.” I want to please the Lord Jesus Christ whose goal is to present me as His bride one day as part of “a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish.” (Eph. 5:27)

What does all this have to do with our reading today?

Aaron and the Israelites blew it big time. While Moses was on the mountain, meeting with God in the cloud for forty days and forty nights, they grew impatient waiting for Moses to come back. So they decided to make God in their own image in the form of a golden calf. God had just written in stone, with His great finger, “No other gods, and no images of gods.”

When Moses and Joshua came near the camp, they could hear the people singing and worshiping the molded calf. Moses became so angry that he threw the stone tablets down and broke them at the foot of the mountain. Why did he do that? It was a dramatic object lesson. Actually breaking the tablets of stone in front of the people symbolized the nation of Israel’s great sin in breaking God’s commandments.

There were many consequences from this sin. A severe reprimand from Moses, a blatant lie from Aaron, a multitude of 3000 disobedient people dead, and even a desperate plea from Moses as he offered himself in their place for God’s atonement – a removal of God Himself as Moses symbolically moved his tent outside the camp. Moses was called back up on the mountain for another forty days and forty nights. Before they could get on with their journey, there was a lot to be dealt with.

In these days of grace, it’s so easy to read this and say, “Those people were so stupid.” But, isn’t it shockingly easy for us to break fellowship with the Holy Spirit through disobedience and willfulness? Just like Jerry Bridges’ devotional. Just like me.

Charlie and I met Jerry Bridges once. We had dinner with him. He was a normal person down to earth and pleasant. He was human just like us. But, the power of the Holy Spirit in his life made me want to be just like him. Thanks, Jerry, for a great devotional reminding us about the transformation God wants to make in us along our spiritual journey.

Sold or Sent?

Reading Through the Bible In 2010 (Gen. 37-39)

"Then Midianite traders passed by; so the brothers pulled Joseph up and lifted him out of the pit, and sold him to the Ishmaelites for twenty shekels of silver. And they took Joseph to Egypt." Gen. 37:28

JOSEPH

"I knew I had been sold,
For circumstances
Dark as a desert pit
And dismal as the slaver's caravan
Surrounded me,
And seemed to crush me down;
I had been sold.

I also had been sent.
The circumstance
Shone with the light Divine
And through the wrath of men
God put me in His own appointed place
He set on high,
And none could bow me down.
I had been sent"

M, Mannington


Do you feel like you have been sold? Maybe it's a job loss, a rebellious child, a marriage issue, slander that won't go away, friends that make fun of you in school. When you are "sold" circumstances do seem dark as a desert pit and dismal as a slaver's caravan. When we are betrayed we feel so crushed and life seems so dismal.

Yet as you go through your circumstances, look and see the light Divine that never leaves your side, The wrath of men cannot keep you from the appointed place that He has set on high for you. None can bow you down, because. like Joseph, you have been sent.

The Backside of the Desert

Reading Through the Bible in 2010 (Exodus 2-4))

"Now Moses kept the flock of Jethro his father-in-law, the priest of Midian. And he led the flock to the back of the desert, and came to Horeb, the mountain of God." Ex.3:1

It's been said that each of God's true servants must learn the meaning of the backside of the desert.

The desert is such a cruel place. Think of the dangers! Shifting sands, unbearable heat, a dearth of water - how did Moses carry enough drinking water each day anyway? He must have learned to watch every step that his feet (in their toeless sandals) took, because of the ever present snakes and scorpions. What was this compared to the polished tiles of the palace of Pharaoh? Yet, "he kept the flock of Jethro his father-in-law the priest of Midian." As he led his dependent sheep, did he sense in any way that he was being prepared for the greatest leadership challenges that any man would ever have to face?

"The backside of the desert." Lots of spiritual analogies here, but let me give one family illustration because "backside training" comes in many forms.

My great great grandmother, her name was Betsy, made a quilt.

The quilt is a beautiful basket of flowers embroidered on top of an off-white background. The design of her creation is lovely but what amazes me the most about her creation is this background. It is composed of thousands of little white stitches that make up a pattern of their own. Yet, the pattern is so subtle that all you notice at first is the awesome flower design. As I look at the quilt, I think about the steadfastness that it took to stick at making all those little stitches - day after day, month after month. Did she spend many hours alone working on the quilt? I'm sure she did. Were there friends who came alongside to help her stitch? Did they have special times together talking and sewing? Probably. But, yet, everyday she had to face that same background. Up into the spare bedroom to spend lots and lots of hours repetitively sewing little white stitches. How many times did she think, "Why was I ever led to start this tedious quilt?"

One day great great Grandma Betsy finished her background. Then, only then, was it time to emboider the striking flower pattern that everyone would see.

One hundred and twenty-five years later, when I found Grandma's quilt, it was tossed aside in a box in my mother's basement. I pulled it out and it became my companion in many places. Mary and I used it for many years in the biblical seminar "Heritage Home." It became a physical example to thousands of women of how our spiritual influences are passed down through many generations. It hung in our living rooms in Atlanta and Arkansas and Alabama. My son, Ted - five generations later - made a beautiful frame for it and the quilt now hangs in our lakehouse. People all over the country have commented on the beauty of the flowers and how well preserved the quilt is. But I have noticed that they always say the same thing, "Look at that amazingly detailed background!"

How quickly the Bible skips over forty years of Moses' life in the backside of the desert. Like his ancestor Jacob, he faced years and years of drought and cold and sleepless nights watching out for a flock that belonged to someone else. But God was going to entrust him with a much more important flock when his backside training was complete. The leadership and care of God's own people would be given to Moses. It would be embroidered on this desert background. Forty years went by - forty years of "being steadfast and immoveable" before he was ready to lead his little flock to Horeb, the mountain of God. Forty years before God would suddenly appear and call him from a burning bush that "did not burn." Forty years before God said, "I am sending YOU!"


Do you sometimes feel like your life is set is an insignificant background? Do you ever think, "How many diapers do I change? How many times do I wipe these counters? How many days do I take the children to school? How many times do I get the oil changed?" Do you feel like God should be embroidering the real pattern in your life and not doing so much background work? Be faithful and trust Him, like Moses, like Grandma Betsy. One day He will say, "Now, therefore, go. You have learned the meaning of the backside of the desert."